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Have an idea for a new bingo game? Questions/problems? Send me an email. Read my newest motivational article: BINGO! Teaching Your Child to Celebrate Life! Halloween Bingo Games and Concentration Sets Christmas Bingo, Winter Bingo, and Holiday Games Math Bingo, Money Bingo, and Accounting Bingo Games: Science and Nature Bingo Games Party Bingo Games for Adults and Children Patriotic American Bingo Games St Patrick's Day Bingo and St. Patrick's Day Concentration Join my mailing list and receive an email each time I add a new bingo game to my site! Coming Soon: I'm in the process of developing new materials that help children make positive life choices and set goals. Click here to receive an email when they are available. Like my bingo games! Link to this site! Sell my bingo games in your store Copyright © 1997 - 2007 Susan C. Rempel, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
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The Secret to Motivating Yourself and Others By Dr. Susan Rempel The clock is ticking. The days are flying by. And all you can think is, "Do I have to do _____ again?" You can fill in the blank. We all have things to do in life that are boring or unpleasant. Yet, we must do them. No matter what role you are in (e.g., employer, parent, spouse, friend, colleague, etc.) there are things that you must do in order to maintain or improve your relationships with others. Certain tasks or obligations, however, are more arduous than others. The task of leading others is one of the most difficult of our lives. Being a good leader requires great skill. This is especially true when you must motivate people to do something that they do not want to do. You may not recognize all the areas of your life that require you to assume a position of leadership. You lead employees to perform well at their jobs. You lead your children toward internalizing a good value system and achieving their goals in life. You must sometimes lead your spouse or a friend to assist them in making good choices. You even lead yourself when you set and achieve goals for your own life. Actually, it is your ability to lead or motivate yourself that helps you complete mundane tasks (e.g., getting out of bed) throughout the day. No matter which of the five key areas of life* that you consider, each one requires that you somehow serve as an inspirational leader for others at one time or another. Being a leader requires a significant amount of energy and ingenuity. Others constantly make demands on your time, attention, and resources. For most people, there are numerous occasions when they spend so much time and effort leading, directing, and inspiring others, they forget to save energy to spark the key player on the team: themselves. Has this happened to you? Are you the victim of what I refer to as "Listless Leadership"? Listless Leadership occurs when you have drained your own resources or allowed them to be drained by others. There is nothing left for you to draw upon within yourself so that you can inspire those around you. You are tired, fatigued, uninterested, indifferent, and basically unexcited about completing the task at hand. You begin to question why you couldn’t delegate a task to someone else, why you are actually struggling to motivate someone else, or if anyone would notice if you don’t do something "just this once." Actually, the answer to the last question is "no." No one will notice if you fail to send a power packed fax, give an uplifting pep-talk, or engage in a meaningful discussion with them – just this once. However, if no one notices, just this once, then there is the tendency to continue to not complete an unpleasant or unpalatable task in the future. More importantly, since any good team adopts or emulates the energy level and spirit of its leader, your team may fall into the doldrums if you are uninspired yourself. Listless Leadership, therefore, can easily become a constant, contagious, and chronic problem. Can you imagine the effect on a sales staff if the manager unconsciously communicates that it is acceptable to put off making contacts with potential clients until tomorrow? Will most children complete a difficult school assignment if they are left to motivate themselves to do so? How many community service projects would be completed if the organizers didn’t provide any direction and just left it up to the participants to complete a variety of tasks at their leisure? The answers are: disastrous, no, and very few. Suffice it to say that it is very serious and deleterious when any team captain suffers from Listless Leadership. How do you assess whether you suffer from Listless Leadership? Ask yourself the following questions:
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then follow this formula to take the first step transforming your pattern of Listless Leadership into the optimal style for leading others that I call "Luminary Leadership":
What is so special about this combination of positive factors and actions? They will synergistically work together to increase your feeling of inner peace! That’s it my friends. The key to metamorphosing your unproductive pattern of Listless Leadership into the invaluable skills and characteristics of a Luminary Leader is maintaining a sense of inner peace. That inner peace is the foundation upon which your life is built. It is the fountain that replenishes you when your reserves are low. It is the spark within yourself that you will ultimately utilize to ignite others. Does it seem odd that the key to motivating others is your sense of inner peace? It shouldn’t! Your sense of inner peace is like the keel on a ship. It helps you to remain balanced and steady in the midst of a storm. It gives you confidence that you can make full use of the prevailing winds without fear of capsizing. A strong sense of inner peace also fosters living your life in the present. If you are at peace with your present life, then your future successes will only enhance your sense of peace and feeling of personal satisfaction. It is those people who cannot live in the present who constantly search for things in the future that will make them happy or blame things in the past for their present discontent. They cannot lead others toward success because they cannot even lead themselves. What does all that have to do with being motivated and motivating others? A sense of inner peace promotes a positive vision of life. That vision makes it possible for you to focus on the positive aspects of any situation and sustain a positive outlook toward life. It will also help you to see interesting possibilities and opportunities as they present themselves to you throughout your life which will expand your feeling of success. Viewing life in positive terms will prompt you to care for your physical and mental health. In fact, it is well documented that a positive outlook and attitude has amazingly beneficial effects on your health. If you are both healthy and at peace with yourself, you will be less likely to drive yourself unmercifully toward unrealistic goals. You will not perceive that other people "have it so much better" because of a particular achievement or possession. Improving your sense of inner peace will empower you to move toward your goals. They will also activate your ability to serve as a catalyst in any situation. You will become the spark that can ignite the fire in others. You will truly be a leader because you will lead others toward success by your own example. The secret to motivating others is building a solid foundation in your own life. The basis for that foundation is your sense of inner peace and personal satisfaction. Upon that foundation you will build the framework of a diverse, interesting, and satisfying life. The foundation and framework then create an environment in which meaningful relationships at home, work, and in the community can develop and flourish. Being with you will become a pleasant, positive, and motivating experience for others. They will seek to emulate you and look to you for guidance. In that way, you will be a spark. That spark will ignite a chain of events that will improve your life and the lives of those around you. Make the decision today to begin to lay that foundation within yourself and become a spark to those around you. Choose to lead others with a dazzling spark of brilliance rather than with a dull and indifferent collection of directives! P.S. The concept of Luminary Leadership will be discussed in an upcoming article. * Please refer to Susan’s article: "The Personal Pinnacle of Success: Defining Success and Climbing the Mountain on Your Own Terms" at http://www.uncommoncourtesy.com/personal1.htm. Copyright © 1998 Susan C. Rempel, Ph.D. All rights reserved. This article (including the copyright notice) may be reprinted with the following the following attachment: © 1998 - 1999 Susan C. Rempel, Ph.D. All rights reserved. - begin attachment - © 1998 - 1999 Susan C. Rempel, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Get motivated with UnCommon Courtesy & Coaching! Motivational products and services for children, parents, and teachers that reinforce positive behavior, good manners, a positive outlook on life, and life success. Supplies for parents and teachers. Games, books, computer games, bingo cards, and toys. Visit us today at http://www.uncommoncourtesy.com - end attachment -
UnCommon
Courtesy & Coaching
Articles by Dr. Susan Rempel Avoidance May
Actually be an Opportunity in Disguise! (Part 2) In "Avoidance May Actually Be An Opportunity In Disguise (Part 1)", I
talked about how mundane tasks are often avoided out of fear and/or boredom.
What about those unpleasant encounters that you would like to avoid at your work
place? Have you avoided a discussion with your boss about one of the aspects of
your job that you would like to change? How about confrontations with your
employees? Possibly, you have avoided introducing a client to a new idea or
product. Each of these avoidance situations is really an opportunity to become
more successful! Employees frequently are reluctant to discuss new ideas with their
employers. This reluctance stems not only from the fear that their idea will be
rejected, but also out of their fear of being ridiculed. "What a stupid idea,"
your boss will say. Really? If your boss rejects ideas in that manner, perhaps
it is time to look for a new job! More than likely, your boss will take part or
all of your idea and seriously consider implementing it. In most companies,
managers have become managers because they are assertive, were successful in
previous work-related positions, or have focused their talents and energies on
the success of the company. Managers are (or should be) constantly looking for
new ideas! That’s also true for company assistant vice presidents, vice
presidents, presidents, and CEOs. Anyone in a position of authority and
responsibility within a business entity should always be interested in ways and
ideas that can make the company more successful and profitable. Have you been avoiding a confrontation with an employee? One client
recently told me about his difficulty in dealing with subordinates who seem to
enjoy being confrontational or challenging her authority. We talked about her
approach to dealing with such employees. She consistently went head-to-head with
these people trying to match their level of energy. Although she always won each
battle, she felt that she was losing the war. "I’m tired," she said, "and
sometimes I just feel like taking the day off." The problem wasn’t that she
disliked her job. It was that the confrontations consumed all her time and
depleted her energy. I suggested that she consider using a different strategy
for interacting with difficult employees. Instead of coming to logger heads, she
should try to listen to what the employee is saying. Then, she should reframe
what was said in the most positive light possible from her point of view. Another approach is based on the notion that most people have patterns
of interaction. An employee may begin with a minor complaint and continue
complaining until everyone in the entire corporate hierarchy is miserable and
tired of hearing from him or her. Why not put him or her to work changing the
situation? For example, try responding to an employee’s complaint by saying, "OK
Nick, if you see a problem here, then I want you to come up with three
strategies to solve it." Not only will Nick stop complaining to you, but he may
just come up with a new and more productive solution, to a problem that you
didn’t even know existed in the first place! Regardless of why a confrontation
with an employee has occurred, the next step should be to consider changing the
process that underlies your future interactions with that person. The biggest problem for most business people is introducing new ideas
and products to clients. After all, the client holds the power in most
situations. He or she can reject your idea on a whim or without any basis. The
easiest thing for you is not to make the pitch in the first place. After all, it
is difficult to face rejection from a client after you have put forth the effort
which is necessary to design and implement a fantastic presentation. I must
admit that I have experienced this problem in my own life. As a novice
therapist, I sometimes was hesitant to suggest a new behavior pattern to a
client because I "knew" that my suggestion would be rejected. As I have become
more experienced, I like to think that I have also become more fearless. If the
worst thing that can happen is that the client will say "no," then I am no worse
off than before. What I have discovered is that "no" often leads to a very
interesting discussion spawned by my follow-up question: "Why not?" Although you
cannot just ask a business client "why not," you can move past the first "no"
and explore how you and your product or service can be helpful to the client.
Possibly, there is an alternative use of your product or service. Maybe they
will be more useful to the potential buyer in a few months. You might even
uncover a suggestion as to how you could improve your product to better meet the
needs of others. Whatever the response, there can be a positive outcome. If you
avoid the interaction altogether, it can only result in maintaining the status
quo which is really a failure to move forward. Each interaction with a client
can be viewed as an opportunity for success, even though it may not be the same
type of successful outcome that you had originally intended. Now is the time to examine your patterns of avoidance with others in
the work place. By implementing a proactive stance with others, you may help
turn your avoidance into a successful opportunity to improve your company or
career. This article (including the
copyright notice) may be reprinted with the following the following attachment: © 1998 - 1999 Susan C. Rempel, Ph.D. All rights reserved. - begin attachment - © 1998 - 1999 Susan C. Rempel, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Get motivated with UnCommon Courtesy & Coaching!
Motivational products and services for children, parents, and teachers that
reinforce positive behavior, good manners, a positive outlook on life, and life
success. Supplies for parents and teachers. Games, books, computer games, bingo
cards, and toys. Visit us today at
http://www.uncommoncourtesy.com - end attachment -
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